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Archive page: This story was written years ago. This has become my fans favorite story so I kept it on my archive page.
Thanks to those fans that have always been there for me.
The letter.
Typical day , you go to the mailbox check out the bills and the junk mail. Today was differant,there was a letter addressed to me with a fancy envelope with no return address.
I quickly read it and it read as follows: I am a single lesbian trapped in a wheel chair after a bad car accident. I dont have any friends, but yearn to belong in our community. I am sending out this letter as a last resort to connect with life outside my door. We are all trapped at any given time in our lives. Im not asking for a miracle just a return letter to find out what goes on beyond my windows.
Discard this letter if it makes you cry. Pitty is not what I am looking for. Discard this letter if you feel charity is my search,because I do not need it. Discard this letter if you need a mail order bride or feel you have to laugh at me. Cherish this letter and return it with words of kindness if you hear and feel my words whisper in your heart. Swiftly return it for time is never on our side. I dream of the moment I can spread my butterfly arm wings around you and keep you warm. signed sincerely your future Anastasia.
The letter had a return address one hemmingway terr. palm beach island florida.
I didnt know what to think when I read it. Is this a joke? Was I the only one to get this letter? I placed it on my dresser for I could not find it in my heart to throw it out. I needed to find out more about this Anastasia. I could not throw it out untill I knew if it was the truth.
The work day went without a glitch, but I found myself thinking about this girl all day long. What does she do all day? what does she look like? Why now? Why this letter? and beyond that Why do I care so much? Hmmm.
I tried to have a normal work weak ,but the days were full of thoughts of her. Crazy as it might seem I went on with my daily routines. Coffee in the am -sitcoms at night.
Monday night came and I decided to get together with the local Monday night lesbian rap group. It was my only getaway to hear about every else’s horrible love lives.
Those meetings always made me feel better somehow. Every Monday night I would always sit there and wait for my soul mate to walk through the doors, but not tonight.
The meeting was a buzz everyone got the letter sent to them. There goes my theory that I was special in some way. No one in the room spoke of returning the letter, there was only harsh words and laughter. Comments were made like “how desperate can someone be" another said “she’s probably a beast!" and "this must be her only chance to get some".
I heard it go on and on all night. My heart sank deeper as the night went by. How can these women be so cruel are there lives so great that they have to ridicule this poor woman.
Somehow Anastasias words never meant that in my heart all I felt was sadness a yearning just to be with other humans that care and love. I have felt that many times in my life. I thought how strange that I feel that way and I am not in a wheelchair. Something inside me made me seek her out.
I knew if I didn’t I wouldn’t be any better than these old souls making fun and never finding true love.
Tuesday came and I was off from work I kept thinking how should I contact her? I was far too shy to go see her, so I thought a letter would be perfect! Yeah! That’s it!
I will return her letter. This was no small task, what should I say? I don’t know her so, what do I ask her? And how do I start it out?
And so the letter began.
Dear Anastasia,
I recieved your letter and I understand why you wrote it. I might not be captured in a chair, but I am captured in my life.
My heart seeks that last ingredient that no one seems to have in thier cupboard. The ingredient of love. I have Had many relationships in my life , but in this world with no dreams.
I still dream of the one - the one that will be all I will ever need in my life. I did not laugh at your letter but, understand it and wish you all the luck in your search.
May be we can be friends someday and you are welcome to write to me when you wish. It feels funny to bare my soul to a stranger ,but no stranger than recieving such a heart felt letter from another human seeking love.
This world is full of disconnections and lies and e mails and people passing eachother in the street without even a smile. So I guess this letter gave me hope that there are people that want to connect ,people that want to make a change to make things better. So here I am with the first smile to a stranger. Please write back.
Sincerely Your new friend
Susie
I sent the letter out and waited for a return back. After several days went by and then a week. I realized that I was the fool.
It turned to anger "how dare she not return my letters" . Who does she think she is anyway?.
I finally decided to go to the return address to see if that even existed.
one hemmingway terr. palm beach florida.
I looked it up on map quest and copied the directions. I drove up and found the return address, I thought right away that it was a joke.
All I saw was a large driveway it appeared to have no end to it. Finally up the driveway I see an old fashioned white massion from the plantation times. Large balcony out front the landscaping was flawless and an angel fountain out front of the circular driveway entrance. With fear in every step I pressed the doorbell.
A brittish butler met me at the door and with his heavy accent he greated me and said " oh hello mam we have been expecting you". I quickly responded with a shocked "Who Me?". I then said " I dont know how you could have known when, I myself had no idea I would be here today".
He said "no you did"nt but Anastasia knew it would be soon, shes never wrong".
SO now I knew I was in the right house, but was still angry and curouis at the same time.
I was anticipating meeting her for the first time. All of a sudden comming out of the darkness into the huge front entrance. I saw her as she wheeled herself into the room. She was not what I expected she was shockingly beautiful. She took my breath away , never before was I so taken back by someones beauty. she had crystal blue eyes that appeared to glow as she starred at me.
She quickly stoped her wheelchair a few inches away from me. A strong breeze from an open back door blew around her golden flaxen hair and her silky white dress was whisp around her chair like it was planned.
She had strong features and yet the most angelic I have ever gazed upon. I found myself having to take a breath, because I had stopped breathing. I no longer had any anger towards her after that entrance.
"welcome" she said , and those words escaped her lungs like she was waiting centuries to say it.
She started to speak to me and the words went threw me as if I have heard her speech before.
"I knew you would find me as we have found eachother in our lifetimes past.You would not be here right now if you were not meant to be. That is the reason for this all, which is the answer to your question.
Do you see anyone else standing here? she asked me as I answered "No". so do not question why for what is about to happen".
As this was all happening My small inner voice was saying to me" am I crazy Im in this wackos home alone with her butler ,no one knows im here and these people could do horrid things to me" , but somehow deep inside I felt safe.
I knew no harm was to come to me , so instead of running towards the open door and rushing out of there I stayed and listened.
I stood there scared and not knowing what to say or how to react. "I recieved your Letter" I said with stuttering words. Then she responded. "Dear susie "I know this seams strange, but I feel like I know you even though we have never met. "Those eyes! those eyes"! she repeated, just as I have imagined them a deep dark brown to complement my icy aqua blue.
I dont understand How do you feel you have seen my eyes? you have never laid eyes on me before. Then Anastasia began her story. The story that made me breathless with anticipation.
"Well let me start from the begining susie and maybe then and only then can you understand.
A long time ago when I was in my twenties I was in great shape a first rate athlete. I ran marathons had several businesses and thought life could not get any better. I was a little careless then like many 31 year olds. I frequented the bars and came home with a new beautiful woman every night. Never had a reason to let my heart go or let my walls down. Always thought I was too young for all that marriage and getting settled down stuff. Money came in faster then I could spend it and after ten years of this good fortune I didnt learn about love or commitment all I learned is great pickup lines and how nice it is to be alone in my large home with my cats.
I lied to myself and made everyone believe I was so happy and didnt need anyone for anything. For a long time that was so true.
I learned so much from so many women and broke many hearts doing so. There might have been one or two that came close to making me think that maybe we should settle down and make a home. But in the end they bored me and I did things then to make the relationship come to an end. Then I would pretend that loneliness was my best friend and I moved on to my next conquest.
After a while it all became routine as soon as I got close to someone and let some of the bricks off of that huge wall I built. I would quickly get barriers up again. Till one day it happened! something that made my whole life change. I had just broke up with the most perfect woman I could find. It was about a year into the dating time and I thought I have so much life to live I dont want to settle down with this woman. I did what I always did let them down easy and make sure I keep them close by. We became fuck buddies as I called it untill I can find another to have fun with. I know this seams all too shallow but this was the life that I thought I was meant to live.
Dee and I had just had some after break up sex. It was passionate ,but not too intimate just good enough for me to still be able to let go. We both just got into my shinny new BMW convertible. Dee's house was on a big hill in upstate NY and It just started to snow.
Like usual I wanted to show off my driving skills and drive fast. Dee started her usual Lets get back together talk. To me it sounded like a broken record. She started to get me mad telling me that this is it! and will be the last time we will have sex. I started to laugh and told her "Bull shit" you enjoy the great sex we have just as much as I do!. Just in the middle of my conversation we get smacked "BAM" !. head on by a 18 wheeler { the driver fell asleep at the wheel }. I tried to recover from the hit ,but before I knew it the car was sliding down the mountain at a high rate of speed. Branches hit the car like whips, rocks broke the windshield, airbags went off , dirt flew into my face. I could taste the glass and dirt in my mouth. Then all of the a sudden the screams stopped. The car stopped and my heart stopped. Dee was sitting next to me motionless. I tried to focus to see her face but it was real dark and we were on a slant.
I could tell I had glass in my head because there was blood dripping into my eyes blocking my vision. Dee did'nt look like she was breathing. Suddenly there was movement. She was struggling to take a breath and yet she was trying with all her strength to talk. "Hunny" she said I can smell gass!. We have to get you out of here before this goes up in flames.
I could clearly see she was in pain with every word she had spoken. I looked down at my legs to get up and realized that the engine was in my lap. there was no way for me to get out. I was in shock at this piont and franticly started to scream in pain.
I fealt no pain at first. I fealt nothing from my waist down. Dee sweet dee quickly calmed me down struggling to speak as if her lungs were full of water she said . "Hunny" dont worry I can get up the mountain flag down a car and get us some help. I finally fealt at ease and some how knew she was telling the truth. Dee leaned into me like she was in pain she gave me a well placed kiss, but she had a look of dispare she could not hide. ANA as she would always call me . I wont be back down the hill to help you, but you will be alright. I screamed "what the hell do you mean by that"? do you mean you wont be back down is this because I wouldnt give you a ring or commitment? She laughed and then coughed out some blood . "No " silly, I dont want you to be scared you will be ok , just promiss me something. What? I said . she said "promise that the next time you have someone in your life that is willing to sacrafice thiers for you that you will give them commitment before its too late"! I had no idea what she meant but quickly said "yes hunny" whatever I promiss.
I never saw Dee alive again after that. hours later I got help out of the car and I was alright.Just like she said ,but dee had punchered both lungs due to a broken rib and she climbed that hill untill she could flag down a car and quickly died from lack of oxigen and blood flooding her lungs. She knew she was dieing and with that showed me what a loser I really was and showed me what I have been missing my whole life." true love". I lost the best thing in my life and I have had regrets about that night ever since. I never had regrets about my legs they were both crushed and I have lost use of them both but I did regained the feeling in my lower half and that I am thankfull for. Dee was a person full of life and love and never appreciated that untill she was gone.
I was never the same after that. I stayed home night after night re -living that crash and never knowing what she meant by her last words untill she was gone out of my life. I lost all my friends and my family loved her and blamed the crash on my irresponsibility in my speed driving that night.
7 years ago a woman showed up to my door she said she was a phycic named dayne she told me to listen because she had a message from a woman with the initials D. from the afterlife. I told the butler to throw her out!, but she quickly screamed out "Dee wants you to remember the promise you made" and she wants me to help you keep it! "STOP"! I said and for two hours I sat with her and spoke directly to Dee as if she were there. Leave it to Dee with that crazy out going way of hers to get me back after shes dead. The woman told me its time to forgive myself for the accident. It was'nt your fault the woman said Dee does'nt blame you , it was meant to be. It was your destiny and this is hers. I had goose bumps as I listened to the words she said.
Miss Dayne told me that I have to get my life together and be happy and that I would find my true soulmate in 7 years. She told me I have to grow up and enjoy everything that god has to offer. She told me your a capricorn and about your eyes the color the way you would look. she even told me your name "susie" not susan or sue but susie. she told me to find you and that I did. I have been sending this Letter out to every local gay group in differant areas of the country for the past 7 years. I have no patience and there for could not wait till the 7 years passed to wait for you . I was convinced I could find you faster. In seven years No one has ever returned my letter or even tried to visit me at all. Not untill you. When I saw your eyes that convinced me that I wasnt crazy. Our journey has just begun. You and me
for Always.
{ what will happen now? will susie leave this crazy woman or will she stay to try a life with anastasia?}
Stay tuned to the last part and see what is in store for Susie will she find true love or a true Nut job?
And now what you have been waiting for the final ending to the Letter.
Ok so now I know Im nuts. I listened to this womans tragic story and was left with butterflies in my gut. I stood there with no words. I just stared at her and her eyes so blue that I felt that my soul just sunk into them. Then I looked quickly at the butler to see if he was cracking up and this was some kind of horrible joke. There was no smile on his face just a look of understanding and reverence. So I was scared and the words that came out after that was of those of a fool. I'm sorry but you made a mistake. Im sure your susie is out there but shes not me. I do not know you and want to know "what did you think I was just going to jump into your arms and all". I mean really now , what now? happily ever after? yeah right!
Anastasia wheeled herself closer and reached for my hand. Once she touched me I felt a tingle like an electric shock go threw my body. Then she spoke all from the heart and I can feel her words melting my feeling of disbolief. Dear girl I knew you would react like this.
She quickly turned to her butler still holding my hand." Richard" she said give her the letter.
The butler handed me an envelope. It was thick and so I proceeded to open and read its contents. first there was a letter stating in legal forms my name and said that she is giving me power of attorney and full control of all of her companies stock worth 55 million along with the mansion and six brand new sports cars. My jaw dropped . "WHY?" I said , are you as crazy as everyone has said? No she said , but you will see how crazy in love we will be. I didnt want the money to be the reason for you to stay with me or to give me the time of day.
Your the one! I felt it when I looked into your eyes and felt it when I touched your hand.
I knew it and know that this is the right thing todo. You owe me nothing. I could also tell by the way you looked at me when I came into the room. That was not the look of pitty. But the look of lust and love in its truest passionate form. So with that I will give it all to you. My heart you still have to earn it. if you wish to do so. If not give me a day and I will pack my things and still live a great life, without you.
Ten years later I can still remember my dear anastasia's face when she first laid eyes on me.
and the first kiss I gave her as I bent over and said to her. " Im not easy you know"
she smiled and said she knows.
I still give her that same passionate kiss everynight when I carry her to bed. We have made love everynight since that night without fail without knowing if it will be the last time she wraps those big wings around my body. I realize now how crazy life is and If I were to listen to my fears and the harsh words of all those lonely souls in pain I would never have found the love of my life. My ANNE I cherish every moment we have together.
Sincerely her future Susie.
THE END